Experience is a key element in life, and experimenting is mainly how you gain experience.. However experimenting is commonly known to people as having to stick your head into the matter to get the experience.. Well that’s not entirely true.. You can still gain experience, and understanding from observing and trying out certain amounts.. For example you don’t need to pick up a knife and cut yourself to know it hurts and that you’ll bleed.. Unless you’re really pretty much sick!
Whether you are married, engaged or single.. There are things in life you can learn about relationships that don’t really require much of skill.. Such as knowing that building an understanding, respecting the other party’s opinions and many other things.. Many consider that relationships are mainly like a watermelon.. You just pick one up.. It’s either sweet.. Or tasteless.
That’s not true either.. Because when you pick someone to be part of your life.. You should pick them on a certain basis that you set for yourself.. So if your criteria of choice aren’t that good or well prepared that it’s probably your mistake..If you choose a spoiled girl or guy.. And you expect them to automatically change after marriage or engagement without having discussed or agreed to any of that… Then you have to seriously consider the way you think..
Building relationships is basically about accepting the opposite party for who they are and NOT what you want them to be.. Or expect them to be.. However trying to push your partner to become a better person is a good thing but you need to know if they want that? Do they accept it? Do they see eye to eye with you? Do you know how to influence them?
Not everything has to go your way.. Compromises are to be made to make things work out, you’ll compromise a bit and they will too..
You can learn from your folks, and the people that surround you before engaging yourself in any relationship.. Even if it’s “Just Friends” for the moment..
Respect what your partners are thinking of, even if it’s completely different from what you are used to .. Remember you chose them to be your partner, so if you chose them, you have to accept them..You’re not God.. So that everything you will say has to be as “Let there be light and there was light!”
It doesn’t work that way, you don’t have a magical wand.. And your partner isn’t a robot with an on and off switch!
Understanding.. Now that word.. Means the world to me.. I’m telling you this from three years of experience and I’m sure people who went further than me have a lot more to say about it.. But understanding and how you create it is what either makes your life a good one or a bad bumpy ride!
Let me tell you first that reaching an understanding or a way communication will not mean you won’t have your share of those lovely bumpy rides.. You will either way.. But understanding first paves the road, so there isn’t as much bumps and acts are your airbags.. They protect you..
To be able to understand someone, you need to look at who they are.. Where they come from, what makes them tick? What makes them act in certain ways?
But a real eye opener is to try to put yourself in their boots.. Many will tell me, I don’t know how?
It’s quite simple you know! It’s not chemistry or the invention of nuclear fission! You just imagine that person’s circumstances, background, way they live and imagine you are that person with their mentality in this situation and ask yourself.. What would I do?
See? No biggie! Just that you need to give your brain some work to do..
That helps you figure out most of the questions you will get about your partner… “Why is she so jealous? Why is he so cold? He never talks much! She doesn’t think of me as much!” and more and more and more..
People express themselves in different ways.. They are not you, they are not your toy..
Today’s my wedding anniversary.. I take this chance to tell my wife.. I love her beyond what ever words I can say.. And I ask her to forgive me for all the silly mistakes and serious ones I do.. Yep I do mistakes..
But I also take this as a chance to tell you.. If you care about someone, show that care.. Share it .. Don’t hide it.. Understand them..You will find yourself even caring more for them..
Take this note as an excuse to tell that special person how much you really care.. And if you like it.. Share it with them.. Put a smile on as many faces as you can.. Again.. Always smile..